I call myself, NEGATRON. I'm a seventeen-year-old pessimist who's having a hard time in looking and staying in the positive side of life. I never praised myself. I never believed that I was one of those "extraordinary" ones. I never believed I have talents. I never believed I could do things that others cannot. For me, I was a typical bum. A frustrated singer, dancer and artist. A hidden song composer. And an unknown romance writer.
But then these people came. These people who believes in me more than I believe in myself. People who shows interest in what I can do.
I was in a "not-so-good" mood this week because I felt alone not being home. But then, God has made so many things to make me happy. He released my fourth book.
When I started writing novels when I was fourteen, I never thought it will ever be published worldwide. Nobody knew I write. I don't even have the guts to pass anything for the school paper. Because I never knew I had that "potential".
I wrote my first novel "Love Bug" after I read PHR novels. I was awed by how writers wrote those amazing stories. And ambitious I really am, I tried. But I had nobody to prove it. I only have to prove it to myself that I can write "something" like that. After I wrote Love Bug, I judged that it was too "magulo". So I tried writing two novels again. And Lynd and Cyprein were born.
When I passed my manuscript, I never ever ever ever ever ever thought that it would get accepted. Like duh? I was fourteen! How can a fourteen year-old frustrated writer compare to those professionals? To those who are older and experienced? But no, God didn't think that low of me. He believed in me. And then there, the PHR mail arrived at our house saying my manuscripts were accepted. Not just one, but both! And on May 21, 2009, I became a writer.
When I got those books published, I never actually knew I'd get noticed. I never expected that there would be people who would get inspired by my works. I never even thought that people would appreciate what my mind had produced.
I received praises, encouragements and I earned friends. It's something unexpected. It's something so sudden that shocked the hell out me. From a low-profile student whom the Janitor doesn't even know, I became something like...a pride. Of my family, my friends, my school, my town and..myself.
But then, I would still think low of myself. I would feel humiliated whenever I'd receive compliments from my readers. Humiliated because they loved me so much and I can barely find what words to reply to them. They are the reason behind every book I write.
I don't consider my readers as my fans. They are my friends. Through reading my books, they get the key to who I am. They get a sneak peek on what's on my mind. Therefore they would know who I am. My books are a part of me. And when you read them, love the characters, cry with them, laugh with them and fall in love with them, then you become part of me.
For everyone who had always been there for me, who had always supported me and who had always believed in me--even if I would always looks down on myself-- thank you for lifting me up and from the bottom of my hypothalamus, THANK YOU. You make my hardships worth working hard for.
It's priceless when you tell me I inspire you. I feel so important and so...good. (Tawa)
If you would ask me, who inspires me. Rest assured, it's all of you.
Please do bear in mind that in every book I write, it will always be for you. And in every page, you're a part of it. You're a part of me. =) You make up Mariane Reign.
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