Do you ever wonder why I only write on my blog when I'm depressed? Or sad? Or crying? It's because less people come here and read my posts. Atleast they wouldn't know that a M.R. who's jolly and always makulit is actually a sad and insecure person.
Just a couple of minutes from this moment, I experienced something that I've been experiencing even before. I've heard it all before. I've laughed at it before. But now I realized that if it's said over and over again, it strikes like hell. Slices like f***ing consecutive knife stabs. I heard it so many times that I could memorize the words. "How come you look beautiful in pictures?"
You know why I have always looked down on myself? Why I never accepted compliments saying I'm pretty? I'm beautiful? Simply because I don't want to sink in the fact. Because sometimes, a time comes when you feel awfully beautiful and then someone would look at your pictures and ask you, "Are you sure this is you?"
Sure, I accept the fact that yeah, I am less beautiful than other woman. You don't have to repeat it. I get it. I'm not a slow learner. And just so you know, it hurts like hell.
And then I'll tell you the reason why I looooove pictures. Those are the only times that I feel beautiful. Where I feel confident. Pictures don't move. As long as you took the right angle, you'd be pretty as sin. But I'm not a picture. I'm looked at every angle. Criticized in every part. And gets goddamn hurt with words.
Sometimes I'd want to be a picture. So all of the time, people would stop and look at me. Admire me and tell me I'm pretty. Not like this now. In every road I take, they'd take me as a passerby. Not even complimented. Just a freaking spare of time.
I get complimented on my photos. But sometimes I doubt if I should smile. It's just a picture right? It's not the real thing.
Source URL: http://gbejadacosta.blogspot.com/2010/09/picture-picture.htmlJust a couple of minutes from this moment, I experienced something that I've been experiencing even before. I've heard it all before. I've laughed at it before. But now I realized that if it's said over and over again, it strikes like hell. Slices like f***ing consecutive knife stabs. I heard it so many times that I could memorize the words. "How come you look beautiful in pictures?"
You know why I have always looked down on myself? Why I never accepted compliments saying I'm pretty? I'm beautiful? Simply because I don't want to sink in the fact. Because sometimes, a time comes when you feel awfully beautiful and then someone would look at your pictures and ask you, "Are you sure this is you?"
Sure, I accept the fact that yeah, I am less beautiful than other woman. You don't have to repeat it. I get it. I'm not a slow learner. And just so you know, it hurts like hell.
And then I'll tell you the reason why I looooove pictures. Those are the only times that I feel beautiful. Where I feel confident. Pictures don't move. As long as you took the right angle, you'd be pretty as sin. But I'm not a picture. I'm looked at every angle. Criticized in every part. And gets goddamn hurt with words.
Sometimes I'd want to be a picture. So all of the time, people would stop and look at me. Admire me and tell me I'm pretty. Not like this now. In every road I take, they'd take me as a passerby. Not even complimented. Just a freaking spare of time.
I get complimented on my photos. But sometimes I doubt if I should smile. It's just a picture right? It's not the real thing.
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