Golf Course Calls

    Golf Course Calls
    ACTUAL CALLS RECEIVED AT A PUBLIC GOLF COURSE (Amherst, Mass.)


    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: What are your green fees?
    Staff: 38 dollars.
    Caller: Does that include golf?
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Yes, I need to get some information from
    you. First, is this your correct phone number?
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from
    Friday. What’s the weather going to be like that
    day?
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but
    I’m running late.  Can you still get me out early?
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Yes, do you have one of  those areas where
    you can buy a bucket of golf balls and hit them for
    practice?
    Staff: You mean a driving range?
    Caller: No, that’s not it...
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Yes, I’d like  to get a tee time tomorrow
    between 12 O’clock and noon.
    Staff: Between 12 o’clock and noon?
    Caller: Yes.
    Staff: We’ll try to squeeze you in.
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Do you have any open tee times around
    10 o’clock?
    Staff: Yes, we have one at 10:15.
    Caller: What’s the next  time after that?
    Staff: We have one at 10:22.
    Caller: We’ ll take that one. It will be a bit
    warmer.
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: How much to play golf today?
    Staff: 25 to walk, 38 with a cart.
    Caller: 38 dollars?
    Staff: No, 38 yen.
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: What do you have for tee times tomorrow?
    Staff: What time would you like?
    Caller: What times do you have?
    Staff: What time of the day?
    Caller: Any time.
    Staf f: Morning or afternoon?
    Caller: Whenever.
    Staff: We have 16 times open in the
    morning and 20 open in the Afternoon.
    Would you like me to read the whole list?
    Caller: No, I don’t think any of those times
    will work for me.
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Do you have a dress code?
    Staf f: Yes, we do. We require soft spikes.
    Caller: How about clothes?
    Staf f: Yes, you have to wear clothes.
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?
    Staf f: Yes.
    Caller: How much for a bucket of large balls?
    Staf f: Sorry, we’re all out of large balls. But we
    can give you twice as many small balls for the
    same price.
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Can I get a tee time for tomorrow?
    Staff: Sure, what time would you like?
    Caller: Something between 9 o’clock and 10
    o’clock. In the morning, if possible.
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Do you rent golf clubs there?
    Staf f: Yes, they’re 25 dollars.
    Caller: How much to rent a bag?
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Yes, my husband just called me on his cell
    phone and told me he’s on the 15th hole.  How
    many more holes does he have to play before he
    gets to the 18th?
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range
    there?
    Staff: Yes.
    Caller: How much for a large bucket?
    Staff: Four dollars.
    Caller: Does that include the balls?
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Do you have a  twilight rate?
    Staff: Yes,  It’s 15 dollars after
    2 o’clock.
    Caller: And what time does that start?
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: Yes, I’d  like some info about
    your golf course.
    Staff: OK, what would you like to
    know?
    Caller: I don’t know, that’s why I
    called.
    Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
    Caller: My kids just came home with
    pockets full of range balls and said
    they stole them from your driving
    range. Would you like to buy them
    back?
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