IF MEN RULED THE WORLD: TOP 26 LIST

    IF MEN RULED THE WORLD: TOP 26 LIST


    1. Any fake phone number a girl gave you would
    automatically forward your call to her real number.
    2. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed
    an acceptable response to “I love you.”
    3. Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name
    again?” cards.
    4. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during
    the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the
    screen during a time-out.
    5. Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of
    the NFL team of your choice.
    6. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
    7. “Sorry I’m late, but I got really wasted last night” would
    be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
    8. At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and
    you’d jump out your window and slide down the
    tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car
    like Fred Flintstone.
    9. It’d be considered harmless fun to gather
    30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go
    pillage a nearby town.
    10. When a cop gave you a ticket, every
    smart-aleck answer you responded with
    would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop:
    “You know how fast you were going?” You:
    “All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over
    the place.” Cop: “Nice one. That’s $10 off.”
    11. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
    12. Garbage would take itself out.
    13. Instead of beer belly, you’d get “beer biceps.”
    14. Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could
    present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said,
    “You’re #1!”
    15. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it
    would only occur in leap years.
    17. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get
    the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day, too.
    18. St. Patrick’s Day, however, would remain exactly the
    same. But it would be celebrated every month.
    19. “COPS” would be broadcast live, and you could phone
    in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.
    20. The only show opposite “Monday Night Football”
    would be “Monday Night Football from a Different Camera
    Angle.”
    21. The candle shops in the mall would sell candles that
    smell like whiskey and beer.
    22. Women would have to obtain a license before wearing
    spandex or short shorts (sorta like conceal carry laws).
    23. Women suffering from PMS would be required to
    wear a burka.
    24. Gun racks would be standard on all American
    cars.
    25. There would be a device that automatically raised
    and lowered toilet seats.
    26. 2006 Cloning Act: ”Only Jessica Alba may be
    cloned.”
    Source URL: http://gbejadacosta.blogspot.com/2010/12/if-men-ruled-world-top-26-list.html
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