Murder at the grocery store
So, here’s the story...Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage,
a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a
large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary,
and then arranging to have her killed.
A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious dark-
side underworld figure that went by the name of ‘Artie.’Artie
then explained to the husband that his going price for snuf fing
out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to
pay that amount, but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand
until he could collect his wife’s insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the
man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested
inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to
accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local
grocery store. There, he surprised her in the produce department
and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands and as the
poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the
floor the manager of the produce department stumbled
unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any
living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle
the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the
entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras
and observed by the store’s security guard, who immediately
called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could
even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed
the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial
arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly
arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You’re going to hate me for this...)
‘ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WALMART!’
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